Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Guest Post: Lizard Lizard on the wall..

... who's the scariest of them all!!

It wasn't that tough for me to select my next guest blogger (after starting my own version of Guest Author Series). Infact, it was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. The offer came to me directly. And since most of the bloggers I follow are in the mood for guest posts, I decided to do the same. You all might have heard of my guest author. The guy is very popular. Some fear him, some don't like him, very very few of us actually ignore him. When he approached me to allow him to write a guest post, I couldn't help but wonder - what on Earth will he write. I asked him the same question. His reply - 'If I tell you my topic, you won't allow me to write. Let it be a surprise'.

So, here it is guys. Presenting to you - {drum-beats, anticipation, hold thy breath and now release} - The Lizard of house.
Image: bluebison.net
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First and foremost, unlike what most of you think, I am not creepy.

Now that I have got this off my chest, which by the way is actually facing the keyboard as I type, let me just tell you that I am not here to have my 15 seconds to fame (the author tells me, in the blogging world, all you need is a "single" post to fame). I am here to explain it to you humans that you guys are hypocrites! Ohh yes you are!! The thing is, you just don't realize it.

1. Admit it, most of you guys are scared of us - Either completely scared of me, or scared of my creepiness, scared of the fact that I can hide below the bed on which you intend to doze off!! Some of you also hate the way I run. But honestly, that's not my intention guys. I just want my people (fellow lizards) to survive in a human-dominated world that the almighty has given us. That's about it. But you don't understand, do you? When you see one of us - you run for your life as if I am going to eat you! Then some of you (supposedly brave) will come with a broom-stick (or something equivalent) and invade our privacy and security! And why do you do that? Did we kill someone from your family / friends? Did we inherit your ancestral home? You attack us simply to show your dominance! Or maybe to impress the fairer sex who is probably sitting on the bed scared as hell! Your fear is your own. Unfortunately, we suffer.

2. You don't allow us to live peacefully - We have a life. You humans, you need a life! We have our own families to feed. By the way, we are independent. We will not invade your privacy, that's a commitment. Even if we are in your rooms, we hardly know what is going on. We don't understand your tone, your way ofcommunicating through gestures. We are not educated to know all that (though some of my friends are also present in your schools / colleges). Our only concern is to live each day as it comes, find food and survive! Peacefully. But because of your turbulent lives, we suffer.

3. We actually love jumping on you guys, we really do - I admit. We love it. Just to see how (ignorantly) scared you can be. It's as if our gigantic cousins (crocodiles) have jumped on you. Its funny guys. But understand it from our perspective too. That's our only way of self defense. What would you have done, if you guys were in my place? Same thing, right? Trust me, we try to avoid any collision till the point you leave us with no other option! And when we jump, we know we'll be dead soon. But that's our final moments of entertainment! Don't get us wrong. We respect humans. Its only when you guys start abusing your power, we act.

Don't love us. As if we care. We have only one request. Live and let live.
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15 comments:

  1. Hhehe :) Good one :) Esp the third point :P!

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  2. What a dark take on guest posts Binu :D You win my heart with this.

    I don't like lizards at all :( No disrespect to the guest author, but we just don't gel well. Once a dead baby lizard was stuck on my frock when I woke up and one time it fell on me when I was dozing off on the sofa, pretending to be studying :|

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  3. Sorry man, I am scared to death. You love jumping on us...God, how will I sleep tonight...

    Please stay out of my house and then you will live and let live...

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  4. Nice! Enjoyed reading the post. It's actually an interesting concept of guest posts ;)

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  5. Good take man. From the heart of a lizard. Haha, though I hate lizards, so much :I

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  6. i don't find lizards creepy at all !! cockroaches are the ones i cant stand

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  7. Amusing! The entire post and the idea is very hilarious! Brilliant piece from a brilliant author ;)

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  8. Ha Ha,. Nice reading The Lizard's version :-)

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  9. @Divenita, @Aditya, @Rahul, @Nia, @Arti, @Ashwini - Thanks guys. Glad you liked it :)

    @Chintan - I guess the guest author might not take your comment lightly :D Guess he's planning an attack soon :D

    @Saru - Condition agreed!!

    @Sujatha - So, is that an invitation?? :D

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  10. :-) nice!!

    this is my first visit to ur blog..
    liked it instantly..
    will read other posts later..
    keep up the gd work..

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  11. I am not afraid of Lizards at all:-)
    When we where in Isral we had a lot of them in our guesthouse in the desert. They eat the little critters and are so cute, haha

    Hope you have a wonderful and blessed weekend. Thanks for your nice comments always:-)

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  12. Hey Binu, great idea on the Guest Blog Series.. n love the way the guest blogger talks bout somethin all of us can relate to :)

    Personally, I'm freaked out by lizards n dont give them a second though but liked the way the lizard's view is put here :)

    Great work, guys :)

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  13. I didn't know that you were going to talk on behalf of lizards when you said about 'Surprise'. Interesting post which presented the feelings and emotions of those creepy lizards that would love to jump on a human like me :). Lizard - I particularly neither like you nor hate you. And just the way you love to jump over to scare me, i would love to chase you and scare you to death with my 'hush' sounds:)

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  14. oiii! post is interesting indeed but honestly I H-A-T-E those creepy wall lizards that exist in every imaginable shade of brown .. :P

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All yours..

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