Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A day in the life of a Facebook addict..


A typical day in the life of a facebook addict in 2051. I wanted to use the year 2050, but there was a bollywood movie that bombed so badly that I have started hating that number altogether.

Image source: http://www.bypassfanpages.com/

Anyways, here's how the day starts.

My smartphone started making noises I hate, especially while sleeping. I woke up, 'snoozed' my alarm and tried to sleep again. Within seconds, many of my friends, in the other part of the world where the sun is about to set, liked my 'auto-post'. Guess what, my 'Alarm app' is integrated with my Facebook profile. As soon as I 'snoozed' it, all my Facebook friends received an auto-post. It said, "I got up to snooze my alarm, and now I am sleeping again." My friends liked my post and commented on it. The most frequently used word was "LOL". With every new comment, my smartphone kept on notifying me with beeps. I had to get up and made a comment myself. "I m awake guys" and I closed down the auto-post. Yes, Facebook allows the user to close / end a post. No one can comment thereafter on that post.

Then, I activated my 'Getting Ready' app on Facebook, which automatically informs my friends that I am getting ready for work. When this application is running, no one can post anything on my wall. You guessed it right, now-a-days Facebook allows user to be busy with stuffs other than Facebook. Before leaving my place, I deactivated the app.

I switched on my car. Immediately, my 'Travel app' got activated on Facebook. Facebook has done it again. As soon as my car's engine starts running, Travel app switches on and shows my current location on the map vis-a-vis my friends location. This is a tricky application though. As much as my friends want to know my location, my collegues will also know my co-ordinates. There is a third party app to solve this issue. Using this app, I can trick a certain number of my Facebook friends by showing a dummy location for a certain period of time. For example, it can show that I was at my home the entire day, when I applied for a sick-leave. Well, lets just say, that's programming at its very best. 

While at work, I am forced to switch on my '@work' app. Through this app, I will be online on Facebook, but I can post a maximum of 4  status messages and won't be able to check my friends' updates. Also, my posts will be reviewed by my firm randomly. Corporates are pretty serious about this. This is part of the company policy now. They know we will always be online on Facebook. Hence, they have forced their employees like me to have this app and activate it while working. And we don't have an option. They have permission to audit the app anytime they want. They pay us, after all.

After work, I deactivated my '@work' app.

Facebook supports many social causes too. For example, when I pass through an orphanage, I instantly get a message to donate a certain amount. And I normally donate. Don't get me wrong, I am as selfish as the guys back then in 2011. I donate because we can then apply for tax exemptions. There's a new section in the Indian Income Tax Act 2051. It's called 'Section 80FB'.

After dinner, I retired for the day, activating my 'see-u-in-my-dreams' app.

PS: This is how things can change after some decades. Social Networking is set to change the way we live. And going by the current trend, I don't think we can change them. The only option left is to join them. I ain't Nostradamus. I am just letting my imagination run wild with this post. But, who knows, imagination can't be far from the truth.

Also, Mr. Zuckerberg, if you happen to work on any of my ideas / apps I mentioned in this post, I will sue you using your own 'sue-you-on-fb' app.

8 comments:

  1. Good imagination dude..section 80FB ..hahahaha..."Like this"!!

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  2. Good 1...Just the year is 2 far..Its an ephemeral world..something new would spring up soon :)

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  3. "Facebook allows user to be busy with stuffs other than Facebook" lol at 'getting-ready' application. This one is the best.. beautiful read.. :)

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  4. Thanks Buddy.. I actually find facebook's integration in our lives 'funny' !!

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  5. hahhahahhaha this is hilarious. luv it!

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  6. Thank you anonymous :) Wish there was an app to track the anonymous person :D

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  7. Hahaha! Binu, this is so true. No there is an app for everything. I can see your imagination turing into reality soon. But hey, I liked your last line the most "Also, Mr. Zuckerberg, if you happen to work on any of my ideas / apps I mentioned in this post, I will sue you using your own 'sue-you-on-fb' app."

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All yours..

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