Thursday, August 23, 2012

A satire on how to solve world problems

Friends meeting after a long time commands discussion on a lot of topics. Like girl-friends - for those still single and taking their time, marriage for those who tied the knot, cricket, college times, pranks et al. But there's still a level of decency and diplomacy maintained in the get-together. There are some who don't want to behave the way they used to, when they were in college - now that they are supposedly 'responsible' and have a family to support. There are some who don't care about what others think and are always themselves. And then there are the other guys.

These guys need something to get going. Its like we need to start the machine (for Mechanical Engineering guys), switch on the plug (for Electrical Engineering guys) connect a cell / battery (Electronics) and boot your machine (Software / Hardware). There's only one thing that can turn them on (not literally though). A glass of Beer!

Now to the topic of this post - "Solution to World Problems". Once everyone is literally elevated to seventh heaven after many 'pegs', they are capable of viewing the Earth and its problems from a 'birds-eye' perspective. And the moment a problem is identified - a plethora of solutions are discussed and finalized upon. Following are some of the topics discussed and the response we get to hear in such meetings:
  1. Fixing in cricket - The world knows about it guys! Everyone knows. Fixing exists in Cricket, it exists in all sports. It's like playing God! You know the result and manipulate it in such a way that it favors you. Its like drinking - I know what I want to drink, I manipulate (cocktail) it in such a way that it favors me - simple! I am telling you, there's only one solution to this. Instead of banning match-fixing and conducting probe, conduct a probe on why rest of the people are not fixing matches, on why matches are being played without someone fixing them. Ban people who are not fixing matches. Cricket lovers across the world will be confused. You ban chocolate and people will eat more chocolates. You ban spitting in public places, holi will be played that day.You ban people not fixing matches and no one will ever fix a match!
  2. Same sex marriage - You see, it's all about being brand-loyal. I love a brand. I prefer drinks that belong to a brand. I don't care if the brand is feminine or masculine. I would like to believe it is masculine as it makes me more masculine. Hey, that's the solution. If two people like each other and make them feel what they want to feel, where's the issue?
  3. Terrorism - You see, the problem is not as complicated as the news channels and the diplomats understand it to be. Two brothers had a problem, they fight. Their egos clash - it is normal. They have their own families. After the two brothers die, their families fight. Now you have multiple egos clashing - which is even more dangerous. Their families have their own families and the cycle goes on! All we need is for someone to bring them together - across the table - to have a free dialogue! And you need a catalyst to destroy the mindless egos inbuilt in them since the time one could imagine. What's the catalyst? Drinks, of course! Friendship is just a peg away! Bring the terrorists and the 'anti-terrorists' together, include a catalyst and bingo - the world is a better place to live again!
Pic was taken when some of us topped college and went to celebrate it.
I so miss those days!
PS: This post is dedicated to all my close friends, most of whom enjoy their beer and know how to entertain people like me! And yet, never forced me even for a peg and always allowed a non-drinker like me to be a part of the group. Needless to say, you guys are the best and I enjoy every single moment with you.

Also, I don't subscribe to the solutions I mentioned above. The solutions have sarcasm written all over it. All you need is to 'Read it with a pinch of salt and a glass of beer'.

Back to being responsible in life.



  1. I read it with a pich of salt and a shot of tequilla ;-)

    And what sarcasm, your solutions are bang on. 'Har problem ki ek hi upay, daru daru and aur daru!'

    Kudos to your friends and you :-)

    1. Thanks Jenny! Am sure you enjoyed this post (thanks to the Tequila, of course) :D

  2. Hahaha, excellent piece! Sarcasm at its best. Some good friends and many stupid talks... ah! That life, nothing even comes close to it.

    1. Thanks Arti. You are spot on, life with friends is awesome and fun.. :)

  3. Hehe, lucky you!
    Sometimes I feel life is best without friends..:-) and some of my friends are not always so happy that I do not drink.

    Wish you a blessed weekend!

    1. Now that's a different experience I am reading Tania.. Abt drinking, most ppl who drink prefer a fellow drinker for company and a non-drinker is usually kept out..

  4. Till date I thought drinking is the reason for most of the problems but your post proves otherwise. Cheers to that!

    I might not be having a bird's eye view of the world but I am reasonably convinced :D

    1. Ohh yes Saru.. Drinking is the reason and I guess (as per my satirical post) a solution too! :D


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