Saturday, October 13, 2012

What if Chris Gayle was an Indian?

On Sunday, October 7th 2012, West Indies cricket team rewrote the history books. It took them 33 years to do so. As a cricket fan, it was an emotional moment to witness the rise and fall of the West Indian cricket team. Among many cricketers who contributed immensely to the success (Read: all players), one of them was Christopher Henry Gayle. What was interesting here is the confidence that one person has when he / she is at the top of their game! You feel you can achieve anything and you back it up with your talent as and when it matters. That's where Chris Gayle belongs.

Now, before I get into my satirical post, let me share some of the tweets published by Chris Gayle after the World cup final. I am not talking about any specific tweet here, but the kind of fun this cricketer has forces me to love the game of cricket more than I ever used to!
Kind courtesy: Chris Gayle's twitter handle @henrygayle
Now assume an Indian cricketer published the same tweets had India won the T20 World cup. Assume that the entire Indian cricket team partied in the airplane back to India. This is what you would have read / experienced for an entire week:

Sidekick Newspaper (like BT etc): Indian cricket team hosted an impromptu party for Air Hostesses in the plane while travelling. One cricketer was seen partying with a single air-hostess throughout the trip. An ex-cricketer, on conditions of anonymity, said that the partying cricketer is actually having an affair with the air-hostess for quite some time. We tried to reach the cricketer and the air hostess, but both declined to comment. The cricketer's ex-girlfriend, during her movie promotion, said her new movie is about betrayal but is not inspired from her own life. She declined to comment on her ex-boyfriend's new found love.

English News channels: "National Glory - or - National Shame" flashed as breaking news in one of the popular English news channel. On the panel of 'experts', they had one ex-team manager, one ex-cricketer who's a critic of BCCI, one spokesperson from BCCI, one woman social activist, Congress spokesperson and BJP spokesperson. As is always the case, no one is sure where the debate is headed. Some wonder if the experts are called only to hear the questions raised by a certain anchor who never has the time to listen to the response. Congress and BJP started their own debate regarding women issues and empowering. BCCI spokesperson was single-handedly targeted by the anchor as if he was the person molesting the air-hostess.

Hindi News channels: Now this is where the excitement begins. Hindi news channels went few decades behind and revealed that the air hostess actually had an affair in her previous life, her boy-friend later dumped her and she committed suicide. In this life, she is out for revenge. All the planets are unusually circling around her showing their support. They even showed pictures of a dog barking in front of the cricketer with an animated oval figure showing the position of the dog and an arrow pointing towards the dog, as if we cannot see the dog barking. They even stated that the dog is out for revenge!

Mahila morcha: An andolan began from the headquarters of the xyz mahila morcha towards the place where  the cricketer resides. "Hamari maange poori karo" -  was the standard argument. No one even described their 'maange'. Not only was the cricketer dragged into an unwanted controversy, but his family was also being dragged. The cricketer's mother and sister had to intervene and request the mahila morcha not to press any charges.

Impact of all this: BCCI decided to ban the cricketer indefinitely from all BCCI sponsored sporting events (of course, until the IPL starts).

Indian Cricketer's response: I publicly apologize to all the Indians for hurting their feelings. I also apologize to the family of the air-hostess who had to go through the humiliation from different parts of the society. I hereby discontinue my twitter handle and my facebook page so as to ensure such incident doesn't happen in the future.

New Impact: BCCI decided to remove the ban (just before the IPL starts).

13 comments:

  1. LOL...Nothing is left to say, see how well we know our country and you know the media so well. The heading of English news appeared so true. Kudos to your writing skills Binu. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Saru.. Our media is now in a 'breaking news' business.. Anything and everything that sells needs will be sold by the media..

      Delete
  2. I do not know anything about this..:-) But, I just want to wish you a blessed Sunday and week ahead!
    Regards from Tania

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know Tania. We still don't have cricket in your country.. :D

      Delete
  3. Ha ha.. we have become real gossip mongers, haven't we?

    www.anucreations.blogspot.in

    www.facebook.com/VolatileSpirits

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes we are! And we love it too.. Thanks Anupama for reading :)

      Delete
  4. I am sure he would not have got slected in the first place.. what with which region he was or even what caste he is from .. and how much could he afford bribing in the first place to come into the TEAM :)

    hilarious account sir .. enjoyed it

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you are right Bikram. He would have to be from the east zone and the east zone selector should pitch for his inclusion.. :D That would've been a different angle to this post..

      Delete
  5. This was Awesome. I completely loved it. The Media is being unfair to its citizens and is hell bent on showing them in a bad light, but the foreigners are always right!

    Leaving the issue behind, Wonderful way of expressing it Binu :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Ashwini.. Let's leave the media issue behind.. Am glad you liked it.. :D

      Delete
  6. Really great Player chris gayle...great striker of the ball...

    ReplyDelete

All yours..

wibiya widget

You might also like

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...